If there’s anything I’ve discovered from living alone 5 days out of the week, it’s that I take my loved ones for granted, I spend way too much time watching TV and checking instagram, and it’s the little things that can completely make or break your day.
My final semester at Mizzou didn’t exactly start off with a bang. I’d forgotten how hard it is being away from home, and having someone to talk to all the time. Going from a place where there’s always someone around to a place where there’s no one around can be devastating. I still cry when my Dad calls me from home. I can always picture him, sitting in our big leather chair in our living room with Kirby right there laying next to him, and I always wish I could just jump through the phone and be there too. But I can’t. And that’s part of being an adult, I suppose.
On the second day of class, a professor made me cry. I won’t go into precise detail but to say that she brought up a tough issue that effects me personally, clearly chose one “side” over the other, and despite saying that it was fine if others had opposing viewpoints, she had clearly decided in her mind which view she believed to be “correct”. I sat there, unbelievably angry that a college professor was imprinting her opinion on others in an extremely passive aggressive way. Now, I’m not close-minded. I realize that people have differing opinions, and I respect that greatly. But when you purposefully take advantage of your students on the first day of class trying to get them to agree with you, that’s where I take issue. So I spoke up. I surprised myself and got extremely emotional, crying and shaking so hard I had to hold my own hand just to calm myself down. I was proud of myself for sticking up for my beliefs, but also incredibly embarrassed, and she proceeded to take “digs” at me for the rest of the class as if to punish me for speaking up.
After thinking about it for a long time, going back and forth, and praying hard, I dropped the class and was accepted into another. I’m not sure if I made the right decision, and surely that other professor will view me as weak, but I didn’t want my last semester at Mizzou to be a negative experience. Knowing I won’t have to go back to that class is an extremely comforting feeling. And being here, I rarely, if ever, feel comfortable.
If ever you find yourself living away from your boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse whatever, and they call you 3 times a day because they just want to talk or they miss you, hold on to that person forever. Trust me. Because when you’re sitting in your apartment watching yet another episode of Family Feud, eating mini bagels and about to go insane because the only person you’ve really talked to all day is the bus driver, those 3 or 4 phone calls will be the highlights of your day. And even though you could text “I love you”, the spoken ones mean just a little bit more.
You’re going to have bad days. You’re going to cry sometimes, or get angry, or say things you don’t mean. But in those days, there will be good things too. Someone will hold the door open for you, or call you 3 times, or the cable man will come and rescue you from Family Feud by setting you up with 200 more channels (hello Say Yes to the Dress…I missed you profusely). No matter how “bad” your day is, I think it’s always the good things that matter more.